there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
