found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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