Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
as a side note pls kill me
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
