"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
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Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
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Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
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