Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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