Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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