Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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