What a fucking waste of an outfit
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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