Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
How does one acquire holy water?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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