so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
