I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
