he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
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