i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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