he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
