i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
