Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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