I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
