I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
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