He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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