My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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