we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
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