one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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