Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize