hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I can't turn off my feet"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
