Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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