Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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