If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
