Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
