youre lurking in front of me
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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