it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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