You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
