this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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