ugly people sure do ruin things
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
