Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
