So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
