I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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