you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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