i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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