Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
