You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
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One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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