I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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