In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
