I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize
