no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
