you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
