I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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