Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Still dying that you shit outside
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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