Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
