Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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