Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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