Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
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He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
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Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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