I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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