he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
How naked do you want me to be?
His nipple licking is glorious
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