I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just cut my nipple shaving
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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